So, four of us would be flying to Chicago and, with Dan meeting us there, our number would be five. This presented a small number of problems. We would be spending both Christmas and New Year in Chicago. The idea of doing this in a hotel left us cold and, anyway, it would be far too expensive at that time of year. We could rent an apartment, that might work! Endless searching on the Internet found some apartments, most far too small for five people, all quite expensive and very few both affordable and available not to mention anywhere near the city itself.
Christmas is family time and my mother wanted to see her grandson. The number requiring accommodation rose to six and the number of suitable apartments grew still smaller. At the end of August I wasn’t yet ready to give up but needed some new ideas. I had read a short piece about home exchanging in a magazine for teachers. This might be worth an investigation!
How would I feel about someone else living in my house, someone I may have never met? How would I feel about them using my things, seeing how I lived, sleeping in my bed? How would Brian feel? How would the children feel about sharing their things? Brian said ‘no’ immediately (as he always does), maybe he was worried about his knicker drawer (or mine)? The children, on the other hand, were very excited at the prospect of staying in someone else’s home, checking out the bathroom properly and playing with a whole new set of toys. They weren’t even remotely worried that some other child could be playing with theirs. What would I need to do to prepare for an exchange? My house would need to be spotless (who wants to live in someone else’s dirt?) Everything we wouldn’t want seen or used would need to be hidden or removed. A major spring clean, a check with the house insurers and a realisation that for everything we own, if it is worth having it’s worth sharing. Yes, we would go for it!
I found some home exchange websites specifically for teachers but further investigation came up with nothing in Chicago. Could we go elsewhere? I began to look at the possibilities; nothing was really close or easy to get to.
Continuing to investigate the exchange idea, I looked further afield, to sites not specifically for teachers, no reason why other people can’t exchange! I found a couple of websites, both of which had a good number of properties available for exchange ro for holiday rental. This had to be what I was looking for. I was so inspired and encouraged by what I had found that I booked our flights to Chicago, travelling out a few days before and coming back in time for the return to school.
It was the beginning of September, the flights were booked but, as yet, we had nowhere to stay. With over three months to go I wasn’t too worried but may have felt a little easier if I had managed to organise something. I emailed the contact for every suitable house and apartment I could find and waited…
Then 9/11 happened. Our flights with virgin were cancelled in the aftermath and it looked like we might not be able to go. Chicago wasn’t New York, but would anyone want to fly into or out of the US? Would we want Dan to fly out if we weren’t able to fly in? Dan was able to describe the shock waves that went through the communities he was in contact with. We were quite ready to give up on the whole idea.
An email arrived from Sunnie and Randolph in Chicago. They didn’t want to home exchange at that time because they had plans for Christmas but, if we were willing to look after their cats, Siegfried and Jean-Sibelius, and their house (in the city), we could stay in their house over Christmas and New Year. At some time in the future, they may come to stay at our house but they currently had no plans to visit England. The trip was back on! I replied to Sunnies’ email to say ‘yes, please’ and went searching again, this time for more flights. I managed to get pretty much the same flights but with British Airways, who hadn’t cancelled their Chicago route. Dan’s girlfriend, Helen, decided to join us in Chicago and Sunnie confirmed that the house could accommodate the seven of us.
The dates worked well, Sunnie and Randolph would be visiting Sunnie’s sister in Beverley Hills and would be leaving on Christmas Eve. We would be arriving on the 20th but we really wanted to see where Dan was living and studying. So we booked one night at the Chicago International Youth Hostel and got Dan to books us tickets for the Greyhound bus that would take us to Des Moines and then on to Ames, Iowa State. He also booked us two nights accommodation on the University campus. The bus trip back had us arriving on the 23rd. Sunnie very kindly offered to let us stay at the house while they stayed overnight at her parents’ home before flying to LA. This was perfect and we were so grateful and so impressed by their generosity (we’ve tried to follow their example in all our subsequent exchanges).
There was an extensive exchange of emails through which we were able to get to know each other. Sunnie and Randolph had exchanged before and had hosted international travellers. Sunnie explained how she had never cleaned so much in her life as she did before the first exchange. It’s no use sweeping the dust under the carpet, if someone is living in your house, they will find it!
Having a first exchange with someone who has done it before is ideal. Sunnie told us that they would empty a few drawers and clear some hanging space for our clothes. She said that whatever we needed we should look around and hopefully we would find it. They would leave us instructions for feeding and caring for the cats and for anything that might not be obvious (fuse box, stopcocks, emergency services, doctors, dentists, vets, take-away delivery services…). This was a valuable learning experience for us and we were, in many ways, fortunate to have Sunnie to advise us and also, fortunate that were were not doing a full exchange on our first go.
One thing that didn’t crop up in all the cross-Atlantic conversations, was the point at which you exchange addresses. We had each other’s telephone numbers, of course, but I felt a little uncomfortable about asking. Because we didn’t need to give our address, I didn’t feel I could take the lead. Sunnie, on the other hand, though that the website agency gaive the address and so she never thought to ask if we knew where she lived! In the midst of all the organising, packing and getting ready to travel, the subject of addresses was forgotten and we arrived in Chicago with no idea where we were staying after our return from Ames. All we knew was that it was a short bus ride, or a long walk from the city centre. We did, however, have the telephone numbers for both landline and mobiles. Thankfully, Sunnie had said to ring and they would come to meet us on the 20th so that we could leave some of our luggage at the house while we went to Ames, so at that point, they guided us in.
We learned many lessons from our first experience of home exchange. Firstly, that people can be so very, very generous and that generosity makes a real impression. Secondly, that a good exchange arises from wanting to share the experience of living where you live with people from other parts of the world, or even other parts of your own country. The sheer joy you get from knowing that you have shared this experience is beyond description and it makes the extensive cleaning and the organising all the more worthwhile. Thirdly, you will add greatly to the experience if you are actually able to meet, and spend a little time with, the people you exchange with.
We arrived in Chicago on the 19th and after spending the night at the youth hostel and doing a small amount of sightseeing, we rang Sunnie and Randolph and arranged to meet them. Sunnie was surprised to find that we didn’t know where to head for and offered to pick us up, but a bus came by heading in the right direction and she just had to let us know where to get off it. We found the stop at the end of Surf Street, Chicago, and there they were, ready to greet us with smiles and hugs. After weeks and weeks of communications by email, we met in person.
Sunnie and Randolph took us out to dinner, where we met some of their friends. The children (Ben 8 and Beccy 6) were so jet-lagged that they both slept on our laps in the restaurant. After dinner, having deposited some luggage at their house, they gave us a key for our return and took us to the coach station. We said ‘goodbye’ and agreed to go out again before our return to the UK.
At the end of our stay we visited Sunnie’s parents at their apartment and met one of her daughters at a meal we all went to at an Italian restaurant, specially chosen because it catered well for families. Dan and Helen flew to Ames for a few days on their own together and we prepared to leave for the UK. On the morning of our departure we all met up again for breakfast. Then Randolph drove us to the airport.
To describe everything else that happened would be to describe our visit rather than the exchange. However, here are a few of the benefits of home exchange as we experienced it in Chicago:
I hope the benefits were not all ours. For their generosity I hope that sunnie and Randolph will know that they will always have somewhere to stay if they choose to visit England. I hope they will know that they have inspired at least one family to become exchangers and, hopefully, through them, inspired others to do the same.
We find that many people are interested in finding our about home exchange. I’m often asked for the website address. We have since exchanged with a number of families who hadn’t done so before and we know that some of them have definitely repeated the experience.
For us, home exchange has led to many varied and rewarding experiences and we will always be grateful to Sunnie and Randolph for that first one.
So, where next?
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